 The Ranch Hand
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around
the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long
hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very
well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into
town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday
night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no
hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass
of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take
it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off
my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my
socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now
take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her
eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my b*r*a." Again, with trembling
hands,he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into
town again, you're fired."
__________________
"If at first you don't succeed, try again...then swear"
Mark Twain | 
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