 Happy Men
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but
it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but
she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty
the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can
handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
__________________ FREEDOM is NEVER FREE - GOD BLESS THE U.S.A. 
2007 Ultra Classic
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works | 
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