Animal in the road not deer.

[Tbone]

Well, here's the story.
My wife and I went for a Saturday drive from New Iberia down the gulf coast marsh road to Johnson's Bayou. For you people who don't know Louisiana, that's just west Holly Beach or what Hurricane Rita left of it. Alright, alright, it's on the Gulf of Mexico coast on Highway 82 somewhere east of Port Arthur, Texas and southwest of Lake Charles, La.

On the way there I saw numerous turtle carcasses in various stages of decomposition. They ranged from fresh dead to white bones. There were also a couple of alligator carcasses on the side of the road.

This road was built through the marsh and is basically a raised portion of the marsh formed by digging a canal on either side of the road to build up the road bed higher than the marsh. So, you can imagine the animals that cross the road from one canal the other. Nutria, muskrat, turtles and alligators are the main road crossers with turtles seeming to lead the road kill count. That stands to reason because they undoubtedly exist in much higher numbers than the other species.

There is very little traffic on this road. We go for miles without seeing another vehicle and have stopped in the middle of the road to observe interesting wildlife in the canals along the road. The occasional 18 wheeler involved in the oilfield business will pass and I assume that they are responsible for the kills of large alligators as I believe that most pickup trucks and passenger cars will stop before running over what is equivalent to a live 8X16X8' chunk of timber which could have devastating effects on an undercarriage. Cars and trucks will also, for the most part, try to straddle a turtle.

I was thinking about what I would do if I looked ahead and saw an alligator crossing the road. I decided that the prudent thing to do would be to slow down or even stop to let it go about its business as I didn't think the results of misjudging its speed and accidently hitting the thing would be good for me, the bike or my wife. I actually pictured hitting it and after the front wheel passed it whipping around and taking my wife off the bike and causing me to run into the roadside canal in the process. I really didn't want to run into an alligator infested canal on a desolate piece of highway in the middle of the marsh. I imagine that my wife wouldn't think too highly of being snatched off the bike by an alligator, either.

So, on the return trip, we're riding along minding our business at about 55 mph, enjoying the scenery and weaving around the road kills. I look ahead and there he is.

Kamikaze Turtle.

He was in the middle of the road on the center line heading south to north as we were heading east. Right to left, as it were.

I started easing over to the right side of the lane to give him a clear berth. He was a big, mature red-eared pond slider, about 12 inches in diameter and about 4 inches tall from his belly to the top of his carapace.

Just as I get to the point of no return, the Kamikaze turtle does an about face and starts running to intercept the bike. A turtle running, you laugh. I'm telling you this turtle was running at a clip that surprised even me and I've worked in the marsh and waters of Louisiana for 23.5 years.

This guy was trying to take me out. It was too late to swerve left toward the center of the road so I kept drifting toward the edge. Kamikaze turtle kept running to intercept the front wheel of the bike. I kept drifting. Run. Drift. Run. Drift.

Now my tires are on the white line that marks the edge of the road and he's still coming. I braced for impact and poured on the speed. Kamikaze turtle speeded up. I guarantee you my wheels passed withing the thickness of a threadfin shad from that turtles nose. He didn't pull up into his shell like a frightened turtle is supposed to do. He was still running when I looked down as we passed. I was inches from dropping off the shoulder of the road and going into the canal full of alligators.

I could see the alligators coming off the bank like the crocodiles in the old Frank Buck - Bring'em back alive movies. That turtle and those alligators had to have an agreement. They probably have conspired to eat more motorcyclists than we'll ever know about.

They didn't count on my driving skills to foil their plan and I'm sure they were real disappointed that day in losing a good meal. The next time I travel on Hwy. 82 through Vermillion and Cameron parishes in south Louisiana, I am going to pay more attention to the turtles than the alligators.

[Hammerhead Pat]

''Big red eared pond slider''!! That sounds like profiling to me !!!

[HarleyCruiser]

Hey, T-bone, nice story.

[tipper1]

And I always thought it was Texans that told tall tails.....Red Eared pond slider......

[Buzz Kanter]

Did your bike have a fresh coat of turtle wax that turned him on?

Thanks for sharing and glad it ended well for all.

[Tbone]

Originally Posted by tipper1

And I always thought it was Texans that told tall tails.....Red Eared pond slider......

Red-eared Pond Slider
(Trachemys scripta elegans)

Description: A medium to large aquatic turtle which are easily distinguished by the bright red streak across the sides of the head. Young Red-eared sliders are bright green with intricately detailed markings on the carapace (top shell) and a yellow plastron (bottom shell) as they mature the colors become dull, and adults tend to have a drab olive to nearly black coloration. Males can be identified by their long front claws, and a longer tail than females.

Size: Adults can grow to over 12 inches in diameter.

Lifespan: In captivity these turtles can live for over 40 years if properly cared for.

Diet: Red-eared Pond Sliders are Omnivores who enjoy a variety of foods including vegetation, insects and small fish. Young turtles tend to be more carnivorous and become more herbivorous as they grow older.

Habitat: A primarily aquatic turtle that can often be seen basking on rocks or fallen logs near the waters edge.

Range: Native Range is widespread, throughout the Mississippi River Valley from eastern New Mexico to Alabama and north from Oklahoma to Illinois.

Other Notes: When basking Red-eared turtles are scared, they quickly “slide” back into the water to avoid predators.

[Tbone]

Originally Posted by Buzz Kanter

Did your bike have a fresh coat of turtle wax that turned him on?

Thanks for sharing and glad it ended well for all.

Buzz,

I'm thinking about posting this in the reviews section. I honestly have to think, now that you mention it, that MeGuiers must be packaging Turtle Wax under their label. I used Turtle wax for a while and switched to MeGuiers this spring just because of this very thing.

[JCourneyaP]

I have seen turtles when they decide to haul @&&. They can move pretty quick. A turtle that size with a taste for human = 1 eight to ten pound sledge and a game of polo.

Good read Tbone. You shoulda just shot the dang thing.

[Tbone]

Originally Posted by JCourneyaP

I have seen turtles when they decide to haul @&&. They can move pretty quick. A turtle that size with a taste for human = 1 eight to ten pound sledge and a game of polo.

Good read Tbone. You shoulda just shot the dang thing.

And you know what's the ironic thing about this? All my driving life, I have made sure to miss turtles crossing the road and have, on more occasions than I can remember, stopped in the road to pick up a turtle and carry it to safety.

And this is how they show their appreciation.

[BlueBob]

Great story! Those dang turtles are suicidal. I nailed one last month in my truck driving through Kansas. AFTER having dodged at least a half dozen.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-eared_slider