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April Fools’ Issue

Chris Maida Columns

April Fools’ Issue

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TAKING AIM by Chris Maida, Editor

TAKING AIM by Chris Maida, Editor

TAKING AIM, by Chris Maida, Editor

As many of our readers know, we now publish 13 issues of American Iron a year, which is why we had to go to a numbering system instead of months to identify each issue. But though we no longer have an issue called April, our last issue, #309, hit the newsstands on April 1. That being the case, we couldn’t resist the opportunity to play a few jokes on you, our readers.

Did you catch all three fake entries in the last issue? Did we at least get a “What did that say? That can’t be right.” Our first April Fools’ joke was in Quoted & Noted. It was the Chris stamp, and the entry’s title was “American Iron Honored.” This was the result of a brainstorming session, if you can call meetings between Joe K, Tyler, Steven, and myself that.

Truth is, you actually can create your own run of stamps that can be used to mail letters, but we didn’t know that when we put this together. The USPS calls it Create Mail & Postage (www.USPS.com/Send/Create-Mail-And-Postage.htm). Want your smiling face to grace the upper right corner of your letters instead of birds, ferns, or some famous dead person? Of course, the guys couldn’t resist the chance to also throw in a small jab about my leg length, “And, just like American Iron Magazine, US Post Office stamps are printed in the United States, and that’s the long and short of it.”

Our second April Fools’ trick was a letter from Gregory Canterbury titled “Selling This Stuff.” It said, “My uncle was a big-time motorcycle collector and hoarder. He passed away recently, and I found this stuff in his old place. I thought it might be worth something to someone. I’d like to get at least $500 for it all. Contact me at April412014 @gmail.com.” This one was Buzz’s idea. It came about because Buzz has a friend that just bought a few truck trailers full of Indian parts. The photo shows a small section of the contents of one of the trailers. We tried to get Buzz to tell us who the guy is or where the trailers are but no luck!

Our third and last joke was a Widget titled “Bendable Pipes.” Here’s how this one began, “Can’t find a pipe that fits your bike the way you want? Why pay for custom-made pipes when the BendiPipe offers a simple and cheap solution? Just bend the BendiPipe into any shape you want. Once you have it set, place the BendiPipe in a preheated oven at 400 F on a cookie tray covered in aluminum foil.” Yeah, I wish this one was true, too, but no go. Did you notice that the optional, chemical-free BendiSpray solvent was offered in the same quantity, but in different size containers? Also, tap out the phone number and see what it spells. Hint: It’s Joe K’s favorite word.

See you on the road.

Chris

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This article originally appeared in issue #310 of American Iron Magazine

To order back issues, visit Greaserag.com.

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